S3 E119 When Survival Becomes an Identity: Finding Your Way Back to Yourself with Mary Armendarez
Growing Tall Poppies Podcast: Season 03, Episode 119
Have you noticed how trauma or hardship can leave you feeling stuck in survival mode - not fully present, with layers of anger, grief, or fear bubbling beneath the surface? What if thriving after trauma isn’t about fixing yourself or “getting back” to who you once were, but about embracing who you are now with compassion and clarity?
In this deeply honest conversation, Dr Nat welcomes Mary Armendarez, an author and emotional healing guide, who shares how her life shifted when her husband’s stroke pulled the rug out from under her spiritual work. Mary reveals the profound process of stepping out of ego-driven coping and into a new level of self-awareness, forgiveness, and nervous system regulation. Together they unpack simple yet powerful daily practices, like grounding with “rubyred” energy and wearing a “violet hat” of transformation that helped Mary reclaim calm, self-trust, and purpose. What would it mean for you to gently call back your scattered energy and quiet the monkey mind, so you can begin living from a place of safety and presence?
This episode explores identity fractures after trauma, the role of nervous system regulation in healing, and the courage needed to forgive even what feels unforgivable - as a way to reclaim power and peace. If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by fear, stuck in old survival patterns, or disconnected from your body and joy, this conversation is an invitation to pause and reflect.
In this episode, we explore:
How trauma can pull us back into survival modes that hide deeper layers of anger and sorrow waiting to be acknowledged
The practice of grounding and calling back scattered energy using simple daily rituals like visualising “ruby red” and “violet” energies
Why healing is never about perfection or “getting back” but about evolving your identity with self-respect and self-love
The role of nervous system regulation in breaking stress and burnout cycles and listening to the body’s signals before it breaks down
What stops many women from asking for help and how reclaiming worthiness can shift that dynamic
The power of connecting with your inner child as the doorway to intuition, healing, and reclaiming wholeness
Key Takeaways
Post-traumatic growth means choosing presence and self-trust over ego-driven control and survival patterns
Healing is layered, ongoing, and requires gentle forgiveness even when it feels impossible
Simple, accessible grounding practices can transform chronic anxiety and help you feel safe in your body
A Question To Reflect On
What would it look like for you to stop surviving and start choosing to live from a grounded, embodied, and peaceful place?
If you’ve been holding onto old fears and patterns of control, this episode invites you to step into self-forgiveness, presence, and the simplicity of being here now.
If this episode resonated with you...
If you've been doing the inner work but still feel like something is quietly holding you back, it may not be a lack of motivation, confidence or willpower. It may be that your identity is still organised around survival. That's exactly why Dr Nat created her Archetypes of Transformation(tm) and Invisible Ceiling
Assessment (tm) - to help you begin recognising the unconscious patterns, identity fractures and protective strategies that may be keeping you from fully stepping into the life that's waiting for you.
Take the free quiz here:
https://quiz.drnataliegreen.com.au/archetype-of-transformation-quiz
You'll find MaryArmendarez here:
Website: https://maryarmendarez.com
TikTok: @maryarmendarez
If this episode resonates with you, then I'd love for you to hit SUBSCRIBE so you can keep updated with each new episode as soon as it's released, and we'd be most grateful if you would give us a RATING as well. You can also find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drnatgreen/ or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrNatalieGreen
Intro and Outro music: Inspired Ambient by Playsound.
Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be deemed or treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.
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👉 Episode 118 - She Taught Me Why the Ordinary Days Are Everything: A Tribute to My Beautiful Friend Narelle
